You Can Spend Your Time Alone Redigesting Past Regrets


Sometimes trying to start something is the hardest part about it. When you suffer from anxiety just trying to make a change can be one of the hardest things you can do.

The first step on the road, turning the first page, being the first person to speak. It’s like we’re afraid of that commitment to something unknown. This is most of us, not just the odd ones of vus who suffer from mental health issues. We all want that something but we all seem reluctant to do anything about it.

Try to sit and take stock of things in your life. Think of all the good things you have, the special relationships, everything you’re thankful for. Now realise:

None of this has happened by accident.

Some things happen because of the deliberate choices we make. Some happen because of a decision made by someone else that directly or indirectly is passed on to us. And even then, we are the ones to decide if we accept it or react against it.

Think of all the missed opportunities we’ve had, countless moments of triumph and failure that have passed us by. The times that have slipped us without us knowing. Should we be sad for them? Why? Isn’t it better to regret something that you’ve done rather than something you haven’t? If we spend our lives grieving our missed opportunities we’ll spend the remainder of our brief time here not being able to enjoy what we have right now. We can’t enjoy the next meal, the hug of a loved one, the song on the radio, a walk along the beach. We can’t appreciate them as we’re too busy wanting what we’ve missed.

These moments don’t exist, they never have and they never will. Too many of us spend time obsessing about these moments that have passed us by. Too many ‘what ifs’ or ‘if onlys’. We need to close our lives off to these. We need to start living in the present tense, not the past.

We can change what happens now and what happens next. We cannot change what has been set in stone in the past, or even things that have never happened.

All you need is the desire to make that change, the desire to take that first step. Carpe diem – seize the day. If something is wrong and you don’t like it, do something, anything,to try and change it. You may change it for the better, you may not.

But you’ll never know unless you try.

The title of this installment of the blog comes from the song ‘Present Tense’ by Pearl Jam. You can find a live version of the song here Present Tense – Pearl Jam (live)

As usual if you want to get in touch with me you can drop me a message at There’s a closed support group on Facebook called The Order Of The Dog that I’ve set up for people to talk and get support for mental health issues. Also, please feel free to share this blog wherever you think it might be of help.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s