Our Marra Brian

It's been a good while since I've put my thoughts and feelings into words. Since my dad passed away last year, my life has become a blur of change in a positive way. Now I reside west of Glasgow, where I see the Clyde every day slowly moving life elsewhere. I've struggled to compose words …

Brian Hamilton (1950~2022)

My dad and myself at my nephew's wedding earlier this year. To me he was pappa H. To others he was Bri or Hammo. But most of all, I knew him best as dad. The past few weeks have been so hard since he passed away. I keep trying to find the words, the right …

Here Come The Lonely Night I Can’t Escape My Mind

Light at the End of the Tunnel I put my headset on and called through to my manager on Teams. "You know," I said to her, "sometimes you need to have a difficult conversation with someone........" Eight hours prior to this conversation I was sitting on the edge of my bed, wide awake and alert. …

“O Captain! my Captain!” ~ For John Lambert

Myself and John Lambert I've been trying to write this down for days now, a tribute to my friend so passed away recently. Tomorrow he's laid to rest and we'll celebrate his life and his influence. John Lambert was so many different things to different people. A Yorkshireman who grew up in Africa. A clown. …

These Tell Tale Signs Are Here To Stay And In The End You Know That’s OK

It creeps around to that time of year. It always leaves me feeling like there's a pit in my stomach, that spaced out feeling in my head. Today is International Suicide Prevention Day. Every year I take part in some activities to try and help destigmatise these situations. I always hope that each year will …

Standing Under Bright Lights – Talking about Grief, Music and Life with Alex Henry Foster

In this post I talk with musician Alex Henry Foster and how the loss of his father shaped his debut album

The Bleeding of Me

Three sessions into my CBT therapy and I'm starting to feel the strain

Drowning In The Sound

Trying to cope with The Noise that is my anxiety

Please Don’t Tell Me Everything Is Wonderful Now

The third lockdown anxiety meltdown blues

Weltschmerz

Weltschmerz: /ˈvɛltʃmɛrt͜s,Wéltschmerz/ (literal translation - world pain). Sadness or melancholy over the state of the world; world-weariness. There's a quiet noise somewhere just beyond the limits of my hearing and my perception, the sound of the sands of my life slowly falling away in it's glass prison. No matter what happens next the last year …