What’s My Drug Of Choice? Well, What Have You Got?

Medication. It’s not for everyone.

It’s odd because medication carries as much of a stigma as actually having mental health issues. Just because you have them doesn’t mean you need to be on tablets or the other way round. Some people still look down on people for taking them which probably doesn’t help sufferers from feeling reluctant about taking them. There’s then the old wives tale that they’re addictive and everyone struggles to come off them. “Drugs are bad, m’kay?”

Medication needs to be treat with respect and open mindedness, not paranoia and mistrust. Yes, they can have side effects (but then again, what doesn’t?) but their benefits can help so much.

The whole thing about being prescribed meds for mental illness can be incredibly hit and miss. Some doctors will prescribe tablets at the drop of a hat, others are incredibly reluctant to do so, more happy to push you towards alternative forms of therapy. It can be hard to find some kind of equilibrium between the different options.

For myself, meds go hand in hand with therapy. It’s not a case of one or the other, it’s about finding balance between the two.

That’s not the only balance you need to find either. There’s the problem that medication for mental illnesses affect different people in different ways. Then there’s the problem of when you find one that works you need to figure out the dosage that works best for you, which is another headache in itself.

Let me try to explain….

When I was first diagnosed with depression back in the late eighties, I wasn’t offered anything, it if I was it wasn’t pushed as a major option. The doctor kind of hoped I would fix myself it felt.

My first dalliance with medication came in my late twenties when I was prescribed Prozac for a major depression spell I was going through. As I remember it worked but left me feeling fuzzy and ‘not quite there’.

My next attempt with meds came in my late thirties. My GP prescribed me Citalopram as they were reluctant to put me back on Prozac. It took a few months to figure out a dosage that worked, but Citalopram became my tablet of choice for depression and anxiety.

I’d be on and off Citalopram over the next few years. It seemed to work most of the time, focusing more on the anxiety and dealing with that before it would help me with my depression.

I went to my GP with my most recent spell in the late summer of 2016. My anxiety was creeping back so I was prescribed good old Citalopram again at 10mg, a relatively low dose. A month later I was back there and we obsessed l increased it to double what I was taking as I felt it wasn’t touching the anxiety. The increased amount took a few days to kick in and I found myself quite giggly, an unusual side effect, until it settled in my system. Another month on and another visit with the doctor. The medication wasn’t doing anything at all.

I’m really fortunate as my doctor is a) very understanding about these matters and b) has a wife who works in psychotherapy. She’d put together a list of meds, the chemical family that each belong to and what type of illness they worked best with. After consulting his list he decided to change me onto Venlafaxine at the minimum dosage (75mg).

After a few weeks I could feel then working on me. In fact, they worked really well. They were able to work on evening out the mental swings, the ups and downs my moods would go through, and give me a decent base level to work from. Some days would still be bad, but at least they weren’t as bad as they could have been. There were good times too I’d like to point out.

A few months ago I could feel the dog starting to tighten it’s grip on me. Another chat with the doctor and we increased my meds up to 150mg. Again, after a short while it would take me to adjust and I was back to more my normal self.

It raises the question though. Do I need to be medicated to function properly? It’s a possibility. Like I said, they help me maintain a good mental base level to work from which, for me, is invaluable. If it wasn’t for that who knows what I’d be like? I’d probably be all over the place. If the medication keeps me in a good place then I’ll keep on taking them until myself and the doctor look to lowering them down and weaning myself off.

But that’s me. I know people who don’t like to take meds, who don’t like the effects that comes with them. But that is down to them. I’d never tell anyone to take medication. It depends on the person you are. We’re all different and we react to everything in different ways. What works for me doesn’t and won’t work for everyone. We’re all individuals.

The title of the this installment of my blog comes from the song “Junkhead” by Alice In Chains. You can find a video of it on YouTube here Alice In Chains – “Junkhead”. I’ve also now created a playlist on Spotify featuring the songs I include in my blog. You can find it over at The Order Of The Dog Spotify Playlist. I’ll update it every time a new blog is published.

As usual, if you’d like to chat to me further you can email me at theorderofthedog@gmail.com and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. I’ve created a closed support group on Facebook also called The Order Of The Dog. It’s there for people who struggle with mental health issues as well as people who want to support and get a better understanding. It’s a closed group which means only members get to see and interact with what’s posted there. Finally, please feel free to share this blog with anyone and anywhere you think it might help.

Cheers,
Scott
The Order Of The Dog.