Here Come The Lonely Night I Can’t Escape My Mind

Light at the End of the Tunnel I put my headset on and called through to my manager on Teams. "You know," I said to her, "sometimes you need to have a difficult conversation with someone........" Eight hours prior to this conversation I was sitting on the edge of my bed, wide awake and alert. …

Running Out Of Empathy, Running Out Of Who I Used To Be

I need something to stop my heart feeling so heavy at the moment. I'm back at work after a couple of months off with anxiety. Was I ready to be back? I don't think I quite was but I was ready to try being back. I'm taking counselling sessions (seven so far) each week. It's …

Remove Your Heart It’s Only Good For Bleeding

I'm going to start this blog with a warning. It's going to touch on some very delicate topics that may trigger a few people. So, if you are of a delicate disposition then please don't read any further and close it down. I don't want people being upset in any way because of what I've …

Trying Is The Point Of Life So Don’t Stop Trying, Promise Me

How down so you have to be for you to realise that you're down? Can you have an awareness of your own situation enough that you are aware of every moment of decline? At what point do you realise that you're able to go "hey, I'm not in a good place at all"? Last weekend's, …

Remembering The Times I Pray To Help Me Deal With Me

My tiredness isn't letting me sleep tonight. The past few days have felt pretty brutal. I knew something wasn't feeling quite right with myself when I woke up on Friday. Everything felt that little bit off kilter but I was working through it. My mood was starting to feel a bit dark and I felt …

Searching For The Ground With My Good Eye Closed

I keep trying to write. It's not that there's writers block. Far from it, I'm being creative. It's more that I start over analysing the results, leading me to abandon them. So, here I am, throwing more words at the virtual page, hoping that some of them stick. The past few months have contained several …

These Feelings Never Help Me, I Want An Easy Mind

Friday's blog allowed me to dump a lot of negativity from my head. All that crap that had been building up in layers. I'd been trying to chip away at it but it felt like a thankless task. Everything built up, more and more. It was starting to feel overwhelming. My brain was starting to …

My Silence Holds The Secrets When I Answer But Don’t Answer

These words are me. These words are describing this. This is me having a bad day with my head. My brain is currently running at a thousand miles an hour while my body feels tired and drained. My shoulders and back ache and I go light headed every now and again. When I'm in this …

What’s My Drug Of Choice? Well, What Have You Got?

Medication. It's not for everyone. It's odd because medication carries as much of a stigma as actually having mental health issues. Just because you have them doesn't mean you need to be on tablets or the other way round. Some people still look down on people for taking them which probably doesn't help sufferers from …

From Despair To Where?

Forgive me father, it's been too long since I last posted...... It's not that I didn't write anything. There are a couple of completed blogs ready in my drafts section. I just felt they weren't quite right to be out there. They may be after some rewrites, they may not. Time will tell. My journey …