When You Feel Life Coming Down

Every time I come here to start writing it feels harder to put words down in a way that feels meaningful and worthwhile. Part of it lies in the nature of my illness. Just because I suffer with anxiety and depression doesn't mean I'm permanently in some deep pit of existential self torment. Over the …

Carrion Blue We’re So F**ked Up, We Don’t Even Know How Far Down We Are

Caution: May Contain Triggers For Certain People.  "Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see …

“I Tried To Talk to Him Over And Over but Always Went About It The Wrong Way” – Talking About Living With Someone Else’s Mental Health Issues with Jill

I was going through the 'On This Day' section on my Facebook profile the other day (one of the few things I actually seem to enjoy about it at the moment) when I saw mention of an interview my old band did. Cool, I thought, I wonder what the interviewer is up to now so …

This Is How You Talk To Her When No One Else Is Listening

I took some time off from things last week and headed down South for a few days. I needed a break, not realising how much I needed it until I actually arrived in the warm hospitality of my friend's home.  When I was there I took the opportunity to get some downtime and see some …

One Hundred

This is my one hundredth blog.  It might not mean much to you but it really does to me.  When I first started writing this it was a way for me to share what I'd gone through. It was helpful, it allowed me to make  thoughts that were in my head, heart  and soul that …

Stretch The Skin Over My Head

Trying to explain depression and anxiety feels like an impossible task at times.  The what and the why can be concepts that come across like whispers and ghosts rather than tangible facts. If there was something physical that people could see or touch I'm sure it would be easier for people to understand and relate …

Lord I Have A Broken Heart

Here I am. Another day, another hospital visit.  It's early evening and I'm sitting at the foot of my gran's hospital bed. At the moment she's asleep, her leg twitching every now and again. Her hands are pale and slighty puffy. We're quite high up, on the sixth floor. It's turned dusk. The view from …

We’re As Good As Each Other…And We’ll Talk Of Tomorrow When There’ll Be No More Sorrow

A friend of mine posted a well written blog yesterday regarding the stigma around being open about mental health issues (you can read that here and I urge you to do so). It made me think about how some people frown upon people who talk about it openly in public forums.  When we're brought into this world …

Is That You Baby Or Just A Brilliant Disguise?

A post in a support group I help run got me thinking tonight. It's probably not the best time for me to be thinking about things too much but sometimes you read, hear or take part in something that triggers you a certain way.  I'd like to talk about my tattoos.  I'm pretty well covered …

The Future Teaches You To Be Alone, The Present To Be Afraid And Cold

Why do I conqtinue to write? Why do I feel the need to keep doing this? There's only one real reason for it..... Stories.  Stories are important, stories are how we learn, stories form the ties that bind us all together through shared experience.  Originally this blog was supposed to be a way to vent …